You have heard it said or maybe you have said “they are not the person I thought they were.” The issue is mis-judging character and maybe having a disappointing experience because of it.
Most definitions of character refer to unique aspects of a personality, attributes that make one person different from the other. Character includes things like; morals, reputation, how a person reacts to life situations/challenges/opportunities. Are they honest, on time or late, do they get along with people, do they make snap judgments or consider other views before making a final decision? Is the person overindulged in a vice? Do they allow people to complete what they are talking about before they start talking? Is the person a good listener? This relates to the old adage; “God gave us two eyes and one mouth, so we need to listen more.”
The ability to correctly assess the character of a person is very important, especially, when it comes to love. Love can be blind to critical flaws in a person’s character. Another view of character involves the seven virtues. Here are the seven most popular: Charity, Chasity, Diligence, Humility, Kindness, Patience, Temperance. These things can be hard to judge when in love or when you have a strong liking for a person.
What about using a scientific approach to judge character? As you know, it can be helpful to exclude your heart and emotions when assessing a person’s character. More often than not, the heart leads us in the wrong direction while the head rules logic and can help lead you in the right direction. Relying on the heart or logic 100%, could lead to the wrong pathway. Extremes usually do not work well. We strive for the happy median to be able to get along with people.
It is not as easy like a credit history that yields a credit score sometimes known as a FICO score. However, if you had access to the credit score of a person, that would help assess their character. For people who struggle with keeping good credit, it may be a situation that requires spiritual and or professional intervention. Credit is about a promise to pay at a specific time. Either you keep your promises or you do not. I think keeping promises would fall in the category of the temperance virtue.
With the absence of a National Bureau of Character Score, we are left to do our best to figure it out. As part of the human condition, we are heavily influenced by an ego which plays a major part in someone’s character. Some people take the word ego as an acronym which means Edging God Out. For some, it is hard to generate a high character score when you don’t believe in God. Character score is similar to the old adage; “ beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”; a good character score is in the eyes of the beholder.
What might be some of those things that you might include in a character score?
How many different parameters do we need to have on the character score grid? I think 7 – 10 would be a good start. This is a very subjective process, so use as many parameters as you wish. You can assign a value to each virtue based on the things that are important to you.
Example: Assign a value of 1 to 10 , then multiply the total by 100. Anything over 5000 points might be considered good character, but it is up to you to set the bar.
Honesty 6
Charity 5
Chasity: Commitment 4
Diligence 4
Humility: Empathy 1
Kindness 3
Patience: Good Listener 3
Temperance: Self-Control 5
————–
31 x 100 = 3100 ……this would be a low score
Example#2: Person scores an 8 in all 8 categories. 8 x 8= 64…………64 x 100 = 6400. This would be considered a good score.
The higher the score, the better the character. By using a character score system, it may help cut down on wasted time and effort on someone who really falls short of your standards. I am not suggesting that you consider this exercise for everyone, maybe just those difficult cases. A Character Score can be the foundation of making other decisions about your relationship with others.